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first day of school

8 Tips to Ease Starting School Anxiety for You and Your Child

Written by: Cheeky Rascals

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Time to read 7 min

Are you feeling unsure about how your child will handle the big step from home to school? Starting school is a major milestone and it is completely normal for both children and parents to feel a mix of excitement and anxiety.


Whether it is worries about new routines, unfamiliar faces, or separating for the first time, these feelings are part of the process. The good news is there are plenty of simple and effective ways you can help ease those nerves and set your child up for a more confident and positive start.


In this guide we will walk through eight practical strategies to help both you and your child feel more prepared, supported and ready for this exciting new chapter.


1. Get to Know the School


A big part of easing your own anxiety is simply becoming more familiar with where your child will be spending their time. Take the opportunity to visit the school, meet the teachers, and walk through the classrooms and common areas. Understanding how the school operates, what the daily routine looks like, and what values and teaching style they follow can help replace uncertainty with reassurance. The more you know, the easier it is to picture your child settling in and thriving.


2. Support Yourself So You Can Support Them


Children are incredibly perceptive and often absorb the emotions of the adults around them. If you are feeling anxious about your child starting school, they are likely to pick up on that and feel unsettled too. It is important to acknowledge your own feelings and find healthy ways to manage them. Whether that means talking things through with a friend, joining a support group, or taking time for yourself through deep breathing, gentle movement, or mindfulness, taking care of your own emotional wellbeing will help you stay calm and confident and your child will benefit from that steady energy.


child putting on shoes

3. Communicate with the School and Teachers


Staying connected with your child’s school and teachers can make a big difference in how confident and supported you feel. Early communication helps build trust and creates a solid foundation for your child’s transition. Take the time to get to know your child’s teacher and share any questions or concerns you might have. Teachers are used to supporting families through this stage and are usually more than happy to help.


The way you talk about school and prepare in the lead-up to the first day can have a big impact on how your child feels too. Your calm, positive attitude will help them feel secure and excited about the new experience ahead.


4. Encourage Independence and Social Skills


In the weeks and months leading up to school, encouraging your child to become a little more independent can really help ease the transition. Simple things like letting them choose their own clothes, put on their shoes, or pack their backpack give them a sense of ownership and confidence in their abilities. These everyday tasks build self-esteem and help them feel capable when navigating new routines.


Social skills are just as important. If your child is not already used to spending time with other children, create opportunities for them to interact in casual settings, whether it is playing at the park, joining a local playgroup, or attending story time at the library. These low-pressure environments allow your child to practice taking turns, listening, sharing, and managing emotions around others.


Group activities also help children get used to being part of a larger setting, where attention is shared and routines are followed. As they become more comfortable with social interactions and managing little tasks on their own, they are likely to feel far more at ease when the first day of school arrives.



child putting on shoes

5. Encourage Positive Thinking


Starting school is a big step, and it is completely normal for children to feel unsure or nervous. One of the best things you can do is create space for open and honest conversations. Ask your child how they are feeling about school and really listen to what they say. Let them know it is okay to feel nervous, excited, or even a little scared. Validating their emotions helps them feel understood and supported.


Once you have listened, gently guide the conversation towards the positive. Talk about all the exciting parts of school life, like making new friends, playing outside, learning fun things, and meeting kind teachers. If your child enjoys drawing or storytelling, you can even encourage them to imagine and describe what their first day might be like, e.g. what they will wear, who they might sit next to, or what they hope to do during playtime.


Helping your child picture a happy and successful day can ease uncertainty and build confidence. The more they visualise positive experiences, the more comfortable and prepared they will feel when the big day arrives.


6. Build Early Connections


If you know any children who will be in your child’s class, try to set up a few playdates before school begins. Even just spending an hour together at the park or having a relaxed afternoon at someone’s house can make a big difference. Recognising a friendly face on that first day can help your child feel more at ease and give them a sense of belonging from the start.


These meetups are helpful for parents too. Chatting with other families going through the same experience can provide reassurance and give you a sense of shared understanding. You might pick up helpful tips or just feel more confident knowing you are not alone in how you are feeling.


This is also a great time to begin easing into a school-like routine. Start practising earlier bedtimes, morning wakeups, and mealtime schedules that mirror the school day. You do not need to replicate it perfectly, just introducing the structure gradually can help your child adjust without feeling overwhelmed by sudden change. A bit of practice now will make that first week feel far more familiar and manageable.


playdate

7. Practice a School Routine


In the lead-up to the first day, gradually introducing a school-style routine can make a big difference in how smoothly the transition goes. Begin adjusting your child’s bedtime and wake-up time a few weeks in advance so that the shift feels gradual rather than sudden. A well-rested child is more likely to feel calm and ready to face a new environment.

You can also start practising what typical mornings might look like. Get dressed, eat breakfast together, pack a school bag and even prepare a simple lunchbox. These little daily rituals help your child become familiar with what to expect, while also giving them a sense of independence and control. You do not need to make it feel like a strict drill—just gently guide the routine so it becomes second nature by the time school starts.


The more comfortable your child is with the flow of the day, the less overwhelming it will feel when it is time to do it for real. It can also help reduce stress for you, as you will both have a rhythm that works before the real clock starts ticking.


8. Plan your first day from start to finish


Take some time to gently walk your child through what the first day of school might look like, from start to finish. Talk about how the morning will go, getting dressed, having breakfast, packing their bag, and what might happen once they arrive, like meeting their teacher, finding their peg, or joining in with an activity.


Discuss moments that might feel tricky too, such as saying goodbye at drop-off. Reassure them that it is okay to feel a little nervous and remind them that you will be back to pick them up at the end of the day. Talking it through in a calm and positive way can help your child mentally prepare and reduce some of the fear that comes from not knowing what to expect.


Even if the day does not go exactly as planned, having a sense of the structure can give your child something to hold onto and help them feel more confident heading into this big new chapter.


Starting school is a big milestone for both children and parents. It is completely normal to feel a mix of emotions during this time, but with the right support and preparation, the transition can be a positive and empowering experience for everyone involved.


By getting to know the school, building strong communication, encouraging your child’s independence, and managing your own feelings, you are creating a strong foundation for your child to feel safe, confident, and ready to learn.


Keep in mind that every child adjusts in their own way and in their own time. Be patient, stay supportive, and celebrate the small wins along the way. With your guidance and reassurance, your child can step into this exciting new chapter with curiosity and confidence, ready to take on the adventure of school life.

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